


Fallen Gods

by sencire



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Betrayal, Canon Divergence, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, F/F, Fade into softness, Heavy Angst, Light At the End Of the Tunnel, Will add tags as I go, but there’s always a light, do not repost without permission, name is Clarke (and others), pretty dark, with me anyway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-02
Updated: 2020-06-12
Packaged: 2021-03-03 19:14:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 10,328
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24510631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sencire/pseuds/sencire
Summary: When Lexa chooses to overthrow one of the most basic grounder rules, she expects resistance. She does not expect Titus to team up with Indra for the ultimate betrayal. Unable to deal with them alone, she is thrown into a cell and left in the dark. All she has left is the hope that there is still someone on her side and that that someone will come for her …
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/Lexa
Comments: 56
Kudos: 180





	1. Outplayed

**Author's Note:**

> This is a lot darker than the other things I wrote so be prepared.
> 
> It was originally meant as a part for one of my first little series but it turned out to be too long. So I put it aside but it's been nagging me. So I'm telling you this story now. Thanks to a friend of mine, the first two chapters are even beta-checked by a native speaker. The rest is my doing ;-)

* * *

“Will you defy me?”

“No, Heda, I will not.”

But she did.

_That same night, noise outside her bedroom awakens Lexa from her sleep. She opens her eyes and turns her head, only to find the bed beside her empty. Her sleepy brain lingers for a moment, not allowing her to focus at once. She finally recognizes the noises as agitated voices that are coming closer. Shaking off the remnants of a dream that her head seems to want to hold on to, Lexa’s drowsy head finally snaps back into reality. There was never anyone in her bed. She kicks off the furs and rolls out of bed to the side, grabbing her knife from the nightstand. Better to be safe than sorry, a lesson she had learned very early on. She goes into a defensive half-crouch behind the bed, keeping it between her and the door._

_She briefly wonders where her guards are. The room is scarcely lit by two large candles that she always keeps burning through the night. Sometimes, they help her step back into the present when heavy dreams make her sleep uneasy. It is dark at night in Polis. So dark that on occasion, waking up suddenly in the middle of the night, Lexa feels as if her soul has been lifted from her body._

_When the shouting stops, she hears some shuffling and someone hissing orders. Then the door is ripped open and four warriors in full armor enter her room. They don’t have their weapons drawn but they are clearly prepared to do so if necessary. Lexa recognizes one of them as the man guarding the entrance to her quarters that night. He had opened the door for her earlier and quietly closed it again behind her._

_Without hesitating, two of the warriors position themselves at either side of the door while the other two, including her guard, cautiously make their way towards her. They keep their eyes fixed on Lexa the whole time. It isn’t possible, but it appears as if they are cutting off possible escape routes, carefully moving in a wide circle instead of a direct line. The uneasy feeling that had started to form as soon as they had barged in has by now hardened into a thick knot in Lexa’s stomach._

_“Eris, what’s going on?” she demands, addressing her guard. His unsteady gaze flickers between Lexa and the other warrior. He still keeps moving towards her slowly. Lexa inhales deeply to suppress the feeling that is rising up her throat._

_“Stop right there!” she orders then, her voice not as strong as she had wanted it to be._

_She clears her throat and asks, louder, “What are you doing? I am your Heda!”_

_The warriors stop dead at her command. Eris bows his head._

_“Forgive us, Heda,” he mumbles, lowering his eyes to the floor._

_Had it been a different situation, Lexa would have had him disciplined for his weakness._

_“What is going on?” Lexa straightens but keeps her weapon at the ready. Still in her night gown and with her hair loose and barefoot, she knows she won’t be able to move as freely as she might need to. She counts on the men’s embarrassment at seeing their commander exposed. Eris looks up once more but only presses his lips together tightly and returns his gaze to the floor. It’s the other warrior, a man Lexa does not recognize, who does not seem to be intimidated or embarrassed. As his gaze roams over her body, he licks his lips, lingering at the bits of skin that are visible._

_Keeping her face blank, Lexa lifts her chin and takes a step towards him. She pushes her chest out and watches his mouth drop open. Curling her lips slightly in disgust, her eyes burn holes into his skull._

_With a few quick strides, she reaches him and grabs his neck, holding the knife to his throat. His eyes widen at the sudden attack. Lexa brings her face close to his, smelling his breath. His neck is sweaty even though the room is chilly._

_“You need to remember your place,” she spits at him._

_The warrior is about to respond when Indra appears in the doorway. Her general is wearing her armor, one arm still in a sling after her injury in battle. It has been barely a couple of days since the betrayal of the sky people._

_“Get out, you pig,” Lexa growls at the warrior and lets go of him. Encouraged by Indra’s glare, he moves away from her quickly, turns on his heal and rushes out._

_“Indra,” Lexa turns towards the other woman but is met with an unrelenting stare that does nothing to ease the tightness in her stomach._

_“Tell me what this is, Indra,” Lexa says, lifting her right hand, palm facing up._

_“You are under arrest,” Indra states flatly, looking away._

_Lexa feels the blood rush to her head. She takes a few deep breaths to steady herself before speaking. She feels cold, not sure if it’s the chill in the room or something radiating from Indra._

_“What is this, Indra?”_

_The general finally looks at her again, a mixture of determination and regret on her face. She presses her lips together tightly._

_“What do you mean, I am under arrest?” Lexa tries again._

_“I have orders.” At that, Indra signals the two guards by the door to approach._

_“Orders from whom, Indra? You receive your orders from me!”_

_“Arrest her!” Indra barks, then clenches her jaw, making that her only response._

_“Indra?” Lexa pleads, then her knife hits the floor. She has finally let go of it. She knows she stands no chance against Indra and her men and if complying buys her time to think, she has to do it. Indra takes a step back to allow the men to pass her. It is wiser to refrain from resisting for now. First, she will need to find out what is going on._

_“Allow her to put on some clothes,” Indra says as she turns and marches out of the room._

_“I’m sorry, commander,” Eris whispers as he accompanies her to the back room. He politely turns around as she gets dressed._

_They take her to the basement and put her in a cell. The door is slammed shut and the key turns in the lock._

Lexa has been alone ever since.

Her cell is cold and dark. The dirty concrete floor has become uneven with time and is crumbling in many places. Just like the walls, lined with cracks that in some places have allowed water to seep through. The cell seems like a metaphor of her realm.

Lexa knows what this is about.

She has underestimated two of her closest advisors. They had never disobeyed her before. She had always been able to hush them with a gesture, a tilt of her chin, or a word, putting them back into their place. They had never questioned her. Lexa had taken their loyalty for granted. She had complete faith in them, only to see it betrayed now.

A headache has formed at the back of her head and its thumping is reaching a level Lexa can no longer ignore. Rolling her head slightly from side to side, she tries to loosen the muscles in her neck. It had all been easier when she had to fight on a more regular schedule. In times of peace, she spent most of her time talking. And she feels it. The commander is going soft.

Even if she has never been the kind of person to give up easily, Lexa still wonders if she has indeed become weak. She has not seen the signs. She has been too wrapped up in the struggle with her emotions, a struggle she had lost quickly after meeting Clarke. Everything she has done since then has been aimed at appearing as non-threatening as possible towards the Sky girl and her people. Lexa hadn’t noticed when her grasp had started to slip.

When Titus had expressed his concern about Clarke’s influence on the commander, she had dismissed him. She had told him she was still capable of ruling as ruthlessly as before, utterly devoted to the twelve clans.

She has allowed herself to be convinced that it was time for change. Under her command, the clans have achieved relative peace. People are living better lives than ever before. Lexa rules, not with fear, but with respect. Absorbing Clarke’s views, her opinions and suggestions, she may not have considered them well enough in the overall picture. Maybe her field of vision really has narrowed.

A bitter smile creeps across her face. She should have known better. She did know better. Titus had bowed his head to her yelling: she was more than capable of separating feelings from duty. But is that really true?


	2. Passing the torch

* * *

There is no daylight in the basement. There are only a few torches outside of her cell in the corridors, shedding a murky light on the dark stone walls. Lexa has lost track of time. She isn’t sure how long she has been locked up. Is it day or night? She is furious. Pacing the cell from wall to wall, around in a circle and along all walls, back and forth, she has searched for a crack big enough for her to start tearing the wall down. She has clawed at the rough concrete until her fingers bled but to no avail other than more blood on her hands.

Lexa stares at them now and clenches her fists before approaching the door once more.

“Indra!” she yells, anger booming in her voice. “Titus!”

Nothing. She feels something new. Even in the direst situations, she has had allies. There has always been someone there for backup. She has always been able to rely on others, has never had a reason to doubt their allegiance. Fear has never been her companion. Now she feels it creeping up on her. She fears for Clarke’s safety. If they had come for Lexa, they had surely tried to get Clarke as well.

Shaking her head at the unfamiliar thoughts, Lexa wraps her hands around the bars in the middle of the door to see if any of them are loose. They are just as solid as the last time.

She turns and crosses the room to the other side. Stopping short, she stares at the wall in front of her. Rage builds up inside of her. Before she allows herself to let it out, she hears a quiet shuffling sound. Tilting her head slightly, Lexa listens. Someone is coming, trying not to be heard. Quickly and silently, she moves into the darkest corner and holds her breath.

Cautious steps approach her cell and stop in front of it.

“Heda?” she hears a whisper. A young voice Lexa instantly recognizes.

“Aden.” She breathes the name in relief and approaches the little window.

His concerned expression unsettles Lexa even more. He is alone.

“What are you doing here, Aden?” she asks him. “Do you have a key?”

Aden shakes his head and clenches his jaw.

“I managed to sneak past the guards. They were too busy boasting about women to notice me.” He rolls his eyes at the gross carelessness.

“I’ve brought some water.” He opens a little bag he is carrying and digs around in it. When he finds the flask of water, Lexa reaches for it gratefully.

“I’ve also brought a blanket,” Aden pushes it through the bars, “and some bread.”

“Thank you.” Lexa gives him a slight nod. She opens the flask and greedily gulps down the cool liquid. She empties it halfway before she can bring herself to stop.

“Gustus asked me to deliver a message.” Aden glances over his shoulder towards the entrance before continuing. “He has not lost faith in you, commander. I was sent here to find out what had happened to you. I’m relieved to have found you alive. We weren’t sure.”

He pauses, waiting for Lexa to respond. When she doesn’t, he continues.

“Clarke is with Gustus, too.”

“Clarke --” Lexa whispers.

As pleased as she is to learn that her trusted bodyguard is not part of the coup, meaning she still has allies, it is the mention of Clarke’s name that tugs at her heart more.

“Is she hurt?” Lexa asks urgently.

“Indra’s men tried to capture her as well but her room was empty when they reached it.” Aden nods proudly. “She’s safe, commander. We got to her before they could.”

Lexa rips off a piece of bread and stuffs it in her mouth. She hasn’t realized how hungry she is. Aden moves closer to the bars, lowering his voice even more.

“We have a camp just outside the city. A dozen warriors are there. Clarke was livid when she realized you had not escaped. She said to tell you to keep your spirit where it is and keep your head down.”

Swallowing the food, Lexa’s lips curl into a smile. Of course she would say that.

“There’s a lot of confusion right now and everyone is wondering where you are. When I get back to the camp, we will figure out a way to get you out.”

“Aden, what is Titus up to? Do you know anything?”

Aden hesitates slightly before answering.

“Not much. Titus has told everyone that you are missing. When you didn’t appear for the meeting with the ambassadors this morning, they checked and found your quarters empty and no sign of you anywhere. I’m sure he has a whole story made up to explain why you suddenly disappeared. It won’t leave you looking good.”

“No doubt about that,” Lexa says already lost in thought. If Titus wants to get rid of her, there is no easier way for him than to just leave her where she is. She will not be able to hold out long without help.

“I fear for you, Heda,” Aden says with a trembling voice. “What if Titus is planning to kill you?”

Lexa is certain that is Titus’ plan.

“I cannot do anything from in here. You need to go back to Gustus and tell him where I am. He knows the tower and the city better than I do. But you have to hurry. We’re running out of time. I will try to hold out as long as I can.”

Aden nods eagerly and his body twitches as if he is going to run off right away.

“Aden,” Lexa stops him, and he turns back to her, “if this is the time for a new commander, then I am happy because I know it will be you. The spirit will choose wisely.”

Aden’s shoulders fall. Lexa looks at the boy. She knows he is ready. He is even better than she had been before her conclave. She has no doubt he will be a great commander. Her teachings have fallen on fruitful grounds with him and she can see him taking their people into a better future.

“No, commander, you will --,” he goes silent when Lexa raises her hand.

“If my time as commander is meant to end, Aden, I will accept it. You will accept it.”

She swallows, feeling a lump in her throat that doesn’t want to disappear.

“And Clarke will have to accept it too.”

“I will tell Clarke you said that, Heda.”

“You do that.” Lexa has a good idea of Clarke’s response. Judging by the look on his face, Aden does too.

“And tell her she needs to stay away. She is in danger.”

Aden nods dutifully and turns around again to leave.

“Wait,” Lexa says quickly. “Can you bring me one of the torches?” The cold is beginning to creep into her bones.

Aden grabs the nearest torch and passes it through the bars.

“Thank you. Now you must go,” she tells him and watches him leave before turning her back to the door.

The open flame will give her at least a little bit of warmth. She lays the thin blanket on the floor near the back wall and places the torch in front of it, as close as possible without setting fire to herself, then sits down on crossed legs.

This is not how she was meant to go. Lexa knows commanders never die well and part of her training has been preparation for meeting her fate. It doesn’t scare her. In fact, she has always felt a certain sense of calm knowing her soul will ascend to be an advisor to those who follow.

Lately, though, something else has been weaving thin threads through her serenity and by now, there is a whole new picture. Lexa closes her eyes, bringing up Clarke’s blue eyes in her mind. The deep crease between her brows when she’s making her point. The even deeper frown she imagines on Clarke’s face when Aden delivers Lexa’s message to her. Clarke’s stubbornness infuriated Lexa at first but now she admires the blonde woman for it. She sees so much of herself in Clarke, yet she is so different. As if they are two pieces of the same cloth, torn apart by giant hands and now trying to fit together again.

Lexa’s heart is heavy. Leaving will not be so easy now.

Not as long as Clarke isn’t safe.


	3. Move the mountain

* * *

Just outside of Polis in a hastily put together camp, Gustus enters the main tent. He finds Clarke standing in the middle muttering to herself. When she notices him, she groans.

“Why do you keep me here? I need to be in Polis. I need to help Lexa!”

“You will be of no help to her when you are dead,” Gustus states unmoved.

Clarke glares at him for a moment. She could swear a smirk passes under his dark beard. If she could, she would wipe it from his face.

“Any word from Aden?” she asks instead, desperate for some news.

It has been a whole day since she was brought here, more or less amicably. When she heard about the boy going back to Polis on his own, she had tried to protest at first. But she has seen Aden with Lexa. He is the best of the Nightbloods and her favorite as a successor. Clarke’s stomach clenches at the word.

“He hasn’t returned yet.” Gustus blinks, showing a sign of worry for the first time. He folds his arms in front of his chest.

“Do you think he was caught?”

“No.”

“Where are we anyway?”

“The woods, just outside Polis.”

Clarke lets out an exasperated sigh. There is no doubt in her mind that Gustus hates her, although she has no idea why. From the moment he has taken her to meet the commander for the first time he has threatened her, disapproved of everything she has done and even attempted to frame her with trying to poison Lexa. Had Clarke not intervened, he would not even be standing in the same tent with her.

But then he helped her escape from the tower when they had been after her. She wonders if Lexa has told him to keep an eye on her and make sure she is safe. Clarke noticed before that wherever she goes in Polis, there is always a guard close by. She thought it was because Lexa doesn’t fully trust her after all. Maybe there’s another reason.

She puffs her cheeks to stifle a grin. What if Lexa has told Gustus to protect her? That would be too ironic. But who is protecting the commander if her bodyguard is with Clarke?

“Why did you bring me here, Gustus?”

As expected, the warrior doesn’t respond. He just glares at her but Clarke has seen him blink. Twice.

“Did Lexa order you to stay with me, make sure I am safe?”

“Heda knows we always keep her people safe in her absence,” Gustus responds gravely. He walks over to one of the chairs and drops heavily into it.

“She did, didn’t she?”

“Are you trying to infuriate me enough so I will disobey my orders?” he suddenly shouts, banging his fist onto the armrest. Ha, she’s right. Lexa told him to keep Clarke safe. A sudden wave of warmth rises up her chest as she studies the huge man. She knows he worries about Lexa. She has seen the two of them together. With Gustus, Lexa is different. She is much more relaxed around him. He’s probably not such a bad guy if Lexa trusts him.

“Thank you for getting me out.” Clarke says, trying a different approach.

Gustus grunts which is as much of a positive feedback as she can expect from him. Taking up her pacing again, she stops at a table to pour some water from a jug into a cup. She puts the jug back down with a thud, leaning onto the table.

“We don’t even know if Lexa is still --,” her voice cracks and she doesn’t finish the sentence.

Clarke tries to keep her mind from finishing the sentence but it still thunders through her head. Lexa might no longer be alive. Whatever Titus’ plan is, it’s surely something very bad. With the commander gone, with Lexa gone … Clarke’s people will be left vulnerable and clearly Titus and his allies will then move on to … Clarke shakes her head vigorously.

“What are we going to do without her?” She says more to herself but when she looks up, she can tell Gustus heard her. His lips are pressed into a thin line. No! Her story with Lexa is not finished yet. There is so much more they need to work on together. Lexa would not leave like that. She just wouldn’t.

“Well,” Clarke says and takes a few steps towards the warrior. Gustus only stares at her. There is no way of telling what goes on in his head. He is the prime example of the quiet, brooding grounder. Talking to this guy is like trying to get a mountain to move. Clarke opens her arms wide, raising her eyebrows in an attempt of inviting him to speak.

“What is the plan?”

When the warrior still doesn’t move, she takes another step, bringing her within arm’s reach. He’s less threatening sitting down. Patience has never been her strong suit and Gustus is really testing her limits.

“How many are we?”

“15 men, plus Aden and you.”

“Great! That’s just great. No problem at all when there’s 17 of us. You’ve got to be kidding me.”

Walking back to the table, she grabs the full cup of water but instead of drinking she only uses it for gesturing. Water spills to the floor. Irritated, she stares at the wet spots.

“Why does everyone abandon Lexa so easily? She’s your commander!”

Gustus just looks at her with disgust. He gets up slowly and puts one hand on the handle of the sword hanging on his side. Clarke has never seen him without it. He probably sleeps with it too.

“You do not think much of my people,” he states gruffly, leaning forward suddenly. It makes Clarke take a step back.

“You think we know no loyalty? There are hundreds more warriors inside Polis. They are only waiting for my sign.”

He moves closer to Clarke and leans down so his face is almost against hers. Her heart beats wildly and she swallows hard. Setting her jaw, she pushes her chin forward. When he speaks again, she can feel his breath on her face.

“Once the ambassadors spread the news of the commander’s disappearance, there will be no stopping Titus. But at the moment, news has not yet left Polis tower.”

“How do you know?”

“Do you think us fools?” Gustus booms. “We monitor all exits, all roads leading from the tower and away from Polis. There’s a curfew in place so everyone leaving the city is either a traitor or a messenger. They can’t get out without us knowing. And when they do, we will get them.”

He straightens up again and huffs. Clarke lifts the half empty cup to her mouth and takes a sip. So that’s where he’s been most of the day.

“For now, we wait for Aden’s return. Then we figure out our strategy.”


	4. No sign of weakness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> catharsis

* * *

The torch burned out a little while ago and is no longer giving her warmth. The cold has returned. Lexa is no closer to figuring out how to escape from her cell. She has been trying to get in touch with the former commanders but they have denied her plea. It seems they all agree in keeping the old system in place. Blood must have blood, the way it has always been. This time, it could be Lexa’s blood that is going to be spilled.

When she hears Titus’ voice, she doesn’t move right away.

“Why is there no light here?” Titus is outside of her cell. Lexa opens her eyes. With a quick move, she kicks the torch and it skids across the floor into a dark corner. She closes her eyes again.

“Bring some light!” Titus calls again impatiently.

She hears the rattling of keys. The door creaks as it opens and Titus steps inside. Lexa slowly opens her eyes again. Titus stops just inside the room and folds his hands in front of his body. His face is unreadable. Lexa waits for him to speak.

Titus’ eyes scan the room before they settle on her. His mouth a thin line, he points his chin at the dark spot at Lexa’s feet. Lexa doesn’t have to look down; the burning torch has left a mark on the floor.

“Did you make a fire in here?”

“How would I make a fire in here?” she retorts, feeling the urge to smash her fist into his face.

Titus looks around the room once more. Then he fixes his eyes on Lexa.

“You’re not asking what is going to happen to you,” he says matter-of-factly.

“I don’t need to, Titus. You should have killed me right away,” Lexa spits. “Why go through the hassle of throwing me into a cell? Would it not have been easier for you to just get rid of me and be done with it?”

She regards him with a scornful look before adding: “A sign of weakness, Titus?”

“You can thank Indra for the postponement of your death. It is inevitable though.” He pauses. “There is no other way.”

“Of course there are other ways. You just chose to follow the path of a coward.” Lexa hisses her words at him and doesn’t miss the twist in his brows. He steps closer.

“I cannot allow you to take us all down with you. It is my duty as Flamekeeper --”

Lexa holds up a hand and to her surprise, the gesture silences him. She glares at him, then untangles her legs slowly. Watching her movements, his body tenses. He, too, is a warrior.

“I was not aware I was on my way down,” Lexa says. “But I’m not surprised you don’t know up from down. You are too stuck in your ways.”

“You have betrayed your people, Lexa. You will face your tribunal when you meet the other commanders.”

It’s rare for the Flamekeeper to raise his voice, particularly with his commander. He closes his mouth, looking at her angrily. He had voiced his concerns before but Lexa hadn’t listened to him. She knew it was his duty to keep the customs alive, especially since he was the one to keep the flame burning.

“Titus,” Lexa says in a softer voice, “weren’t you the one who told me I had succeeded where four other commanders had failed before me?”

“You did. You did all you could. The next commander will take over now.”

“Under your guidance, I am sure.”

“I told you Clarke is a risk. You wouldn’t listen. Once she is dead, her power can pass over to the next commander.”

“You are going to make him kill her?”

“It is her destiny.” Titus turns and takes a step towards the door. “As it is yours to pass on the flame.”

Lexa flashes into action. In jumping up, she reaches for the torch and launches herself at Titus. He is a good fighter but no match for Lexa. She swings the torch at him and hits the back of his bald head with full force before he manages to even turn. He does not fall but he stumbles and loses his balance. She quickly delivers a kick against his legs, forcing him to his knees. Bringing the torch around his neck, she pushes her body forward and pulls back, using it to choke him.

“I will kill the Flamekeeper!” Lexa yells towards the open door. Muffled voices can be heard outside.

“Stand down!”

Indra’s voice. Lexa stares at the open door into the corridor. She can hear them move around.

“Indra,” she shouts. “What are you doing?”

A choking sound escapes from Titus and Lexa tightens her hold on him. He moans again. Blood is streaming from a wound on the side of his head, staining her hand. Lexa leans down and brings her mouth close to his ear.

“If you think I will give up this easily, you know nothing about me, Titus.”

Lexa hears more shuffling, then Indra’s figure appears in the doorway.

“You’re making a mistake,” the general says, quickly assessing the situation. Indra is not particularly fond of Titus, but he is the only one who knows how to perform the rituals necessary to find the next commander. She will do nothing to endanger him.

“Do you not know how to address your Heda?” Lexa snarls.

Indra pushes her jaw forward and straightens her back. She is still wearing her armor, which means she is also wearing all her weapons. Lexa has little chance of overpowering the general with Titus in her hold. She has no idea how many men are outside. Still, her position is not as dire as it was before.

Pushing her knee into Titus’ back, she tightens her grip on the torch even more.

“What will you do without Titus?” She twists the torch slightly, causing the man to cry out in pain as his larynx is crushed.

Indra’s eyes widen when she realizes what Lexa is about to do.

“You cannot escape,” she threatens and reaches for her knife.

“It doesn’t matter, Indra. I will take him with me. I am the commander and it ends with me.”

Lexa drops the torch and in one quick movement gets down behind Titus, using both her arms to take him into a choke hold. She has killed with her bare hands before; in fact she has killed this way more often than she remembers. Titus’ hands fly up in a feeble attempt to free himself.

With a sharp twist of her shoulder, Lexa feels his neck snap and his body goes limp.

“No!” Indra screams in horror.

Lexa lets go of Titus and watches him fall onto his face.

“He will never again betray a commander.” Lexa fixes her eyes on Indra as she gets up and nudges Titus’ dead body with her foot.

Lexa spots Indra’s sudden movement too late to react. A sharp pain shoots through her arm and she falls. The back of her head hits the hard floor and she hears herself groan. Then it goes dark around her.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I killed him 👀


	5. Don’t stop me

* * *

“A tunnel?”

Clarke stares at Gustus in disbelief.

“There's a tunnel underneath the tower?”

Gustus nods slowly. He moves towards the table.

“Leading all the way from the city gate to the tower. Lexa knows about it but so does Titus. It may be guarded but it’s our only way in.”

He reaches inside his satchel and pulls out a map. Flattening it with his palm, he puts it on the table and points a dirty finger at the center, then moves his finger along a dotted line drawn on the map to a point just outside the city.

“This is the tower. And this is the tunnel underneath it. We will use it to get in. It runs from the outskirts of Polis all the way to the tower. There is a secret passage from the throne room to the cellars where the tunnel entrance is located.”

Clarke looks at the map. Of course the commander needs to have a way of escape in an emergency. She has never been to the basement. All her duties at Polis have only ever taken her to the upper floors of the tower. Lexa’s throne room is up there and so are the commander’s and her quarters.

She puts her hand on the map, partly to steady herself but it also feels like it is a connection Clarke has with Lexa. It’s something she can work with.

When Gustus and his men had barged into her room last night, she had tried to ask about the commander but was only told she needed to flee. That Titus was out to kill her. She hadn’t been able to take anything other than the clothes she was wearing. They had handed her a hooded cloak to hide her blonde hair and then she had been rushed out of the tower and put on a horse barely able to collect her thoughts. It was only when they had reached the camp that she realized Lexa was not there.

Her mind is racing. She doesn’t know how much time they have left. Aden has still not returned. She had hated to see the boy go back on his own. Bus Aden was the only one of their faithful little group who would be able to move around freely in Polis without raising suspicions. The mission was far too dangerous for an inexperienced Nightblood but she hoped Lexa’s training had borne fruit and he would return safely and almost more importantly: with good news.

Clarke closes her eyes, her hand still on the map where the tower is. She can only hope the commander is still alive. She feels into her heart. The connection between them is already strong. Clarke knows her heart would tell her if anything had happened to Lexa. To her relief, it keeps beating as before.

The sound of shouting outside make her snap back to reality. Gustus turns towards the entrance, ready to draw his sword.

The curtain covering the entrance is pulled apart and Aden storms in, followed by a few warriors.

“I ran,” he huffs. “She’s alive!”

Clarke has reached Aden before anyone else can and without thinking, she grabs him and pulls him into a hug. The boy allows her to press him close for a moment before he frees himself with red ears and walks over to Gustus, receiving a pat on his shoulder that sends him stumbling forward. Clarke can see the relief in the warrior’s face too. Underneath his beard and his facial tattoos, his features have softened.

Aden walks over to the table and points at the tower. He is out of breath but seems unharmed.

“I talked to her. They’re keeping her in a cell in the basement but she is well and ready to fight.”

Of course. The relief makes Clarke’s head swim. She looks up at the ceiling and blinks back a few tears. The tight grip around her heart loosens. She hadn’t realized how it had stopped her from breathing.

“We need to move quickly,” Aden continues. “When I left, Titus was on his way down to the cells.”

Gustus grunts, his hand tightening around the handle of his sword again.

Aden looks like a miniature commander the way he is frowning over the map, trying to work out a strategy. His clothes are dusty and his hair is ruffled but his eyes are shining and Clarke can see a fire in him that she has seen in Lexa too. He is ready to lead them.

“I can bring us in.” He turns to Gustus. “Send a message to our men in Polis to be prepared. They can meet us in the tunnels. Here.” He taps his finger to a spot near the tower on the map.

At Gustus’ gesture, one of the guards that came in with Aden steps closer. Gustus talks to him quietly, only a few words, and the man nods and leaves.

“Gustus?” Aden asks when they’re alone again. “Do you think we can save the commander?”

Putting his large hand on the boy’s shoulder, Gustus nods slowly.

“We will do everything we can. We’re getting ready to leave now.”

When Clarke starts to walk towards the exit, Gustus glares at her and shakes his head, grabbing her arm in a death grip.

“Not you.”

“And if it’s the last thing I do! Don’t stop me!” she snaps, jerking her arm free. She stomps past Gustus and Aden and leaves the tent, stopping just outside to look around.

A few warriors have stopped what they were doing to look at her. She glares back, then straightens her clothes before walking over to where they keep the horses. She finds the horse they gave her last night and whistles softly to call it over. Grounders are not particularly affectionate towards animals but they take pride in their horses. Lexa had picked a calm horse for Clarke for her first riding lessons. An older mare that had been to many battles, Lexa had told her proudly when she helped Clarke mount it. Clarke had felt so tall, so strong. Until the horse had started to move and Clarke started sliding.

She lifts her hand to the horse’s soft nostrils, feeling it blow into her palm. It’s not the horse she had her riding lessons with. This is another battle hardened animal that looks at her with soft eyes now as she steps a little closer to pat its neck and run her hand up into its mane.

_It had been her first riding lesson. She had grown tired of being led around in circles and had finally convinced Lexa that she didn’t have to hold on to the reins of Clarke’s horse any longer. So Lexa had mounted her own horse and taken them into the woods outside of Polis. Slowly. She stayed a horse’s length behind Clarke, keeping an eye on her. But Clarke was sure she’d gotten the hang of it by now. It couldn’t be that hard. Even grounder children did it without falling off._

_“I think I can go faster now.”_

_“I don’t think you can, Clarke. Your legs are not yet strong enough. You may fall.”_

_“I will not fall! Let’s go faster!” And with that, she dug her heels into the horse’s flanks. It fell into a fast trot that had Clarke hopping on its back uncontrollably. She looked back, hoping Lexa wouldn’t see it. The commander had stopped her horse and was watching her inelegant attempts to stay on her mare’s back._

_“Come on,” Clarke hissed through gritted teeth, trying to figure out the horse’s rhythm so she could move accordingly. But she continued to be tossed around like a rag doll. Legs! Firm grip! That’s what Lexa had said. Using all ther strength she could muster, Clarke pressed her legs together tightly which hurt in ways she had no imagined. Why did it hurt up in her pelvis? She was just about to loosen the grip of her legs again when suddenly, Lexa galloped past._

_“You want fast? Let’s go fast!” the commander yelled, followed by a battle cry._

_Before Clarke was able to react, her own horse snorted and lunged, the movement throwing her off balance even more. She tried to hold on to the mane but couldn’t reach it. Instead, she pulled at the reins, making her horse stop dead and put its head down. Clarke somersaulted over its head and landed on her butt in front of the horse, firmly holding on to the reins. Never let go of the reins, Lexa had also told her._

_Clarke was fuming. The mare nudged her back as if to mock her. Clarke was also embarrassed. Her butt was hurting from the fall but her dented pride hurt even more. So she didn’t look up when she heard the sound of Lexa’s horse coming closer again. It stopped right in front of her and Lexa jumped off, all elegant and smug for sure._

_A hand came into view._

_“Come,” Lexa said softly and the angry reply died on Clarke’s tongue as she looked up into gentle, mesmerizing green eyes. “I will teach you more.”_

Clarke chuckles at the memory. That same night, Lexa had come to see her in her quarters. Clarke had been sore all over, her muscles aching in places she had not known she even had muscles. There was no gloating in Lexa’s demeanor as she handed Clarke a tub of cream that would soothe her sore muscles. But she had made her get back on the horse the next day. It had taken many more painful lessons for her to master the trot, let alone anything faster than that. But now, she could do it.

She turns to see Gustus and Aden have left the tent and are talking to the other warriors. They fall silent as she approaches.

“I will stay here,” Aden says and Clarke can tell it wasn’t his own choice. “In case something goes wrong.”

Of course. If they fail, if Lexa is dead, he might be the next commander. They cannot endanger him more. Clarke puts a hand on his arm and gives it an encouraging squeeze.

“Nothing will go wrong,” she tells him although she is not so sure herself.

“I am not staying behind,” she tells Gustus. He exchanges a meaningful look with Aden, then finally sighs and nods.

“Get your horse ready. We’re leaving.”


	6. How's your arm?

* * *

The pain in her head is excruciating. Lexa turns onto her side and groans. She must have hit her head hard since the fall has rendered her unconscious. She doesn’t know for how long she has been out but Indra is gone and the door to her cell is once again closed. They have taken Titus’ body with them.

Lexa reaches for the flask Aden has given her and takes a swig. Her left arm hurts too and she has to take a few deep breaths before her head clears enough for her to be able to sit up fully. She examines the wound. Indra’s knife, she presumes. Her shirt sleeve is torn on her upper arm, just below her shoulder, and when she carefully lifts the blood-soaked fabric, she can see where the knife has gotten her. The wound isn’t deep but the constant seepage of blood isn’t a good sign either.

Lexa looks around. She presses her right hand to the wound and gets up on her knees, shuffling over to where the thin blanket sits crumpled on the floor. She braces herself, holding her left arm close to her body to reduce movement. Holding the blanket down with her foot, she tries to rip it into pieces with her hands. In true Grounder fashion, the blanket is already frazzled along its sides. She is sure she will be able to get it to rip. Gritting her teeth and pulling harder despite the strain it puts on her wound, she finally hears the fabric tear. She manages to rip off a longer strip she can use as a sling. A larger piece goes underneath her sleeve to cover the wound, the tight shirt holding it in place for the moment. Tying the sling and putting it around herself proves to be difficult with her limited movements but she finally manages and she secures her arm close to her body.

Panting, she sits on the floor. It will have to do.

With Titus gone, there is no telling what might happen next. There is no protocol for the death of the last Flamekeeper. If word has gotten out, if the other clans have heard, if her enemies have heard! She still has some although it seems that the more imminent danger comes from those within her own trusted circle. If anyone else had heard, Lexa would surely be dead by now.

She balls her hands into fists, causing a sharp pain to run through her arm. Clarke will have to look at this. It doesn’t seem too bad but it hurts and the blood has already seeped through the bandage. She moves her arms carefully until she finds a position that minimizes the strain. If only she had some of Niko’s herbs to soothe the pain.

There’s a sound outside. Her head snaps up and she listens. They’re back. Lexa can hear them whisper outside and squints, trying to gaze through the small window from her sitting position. The light of the torches flickers as they are taken from the walls and put out. She is in no fighting condition. What are they up to?

She holds her breath when a single torch is brought up to the window and a face appears.

“Gustus!” The relief is unmistakable in Lexa’s voice when she recognizes the warrior. “Aden made it.”

“Heda, move away from the door. We’re coming in.”

Lexa does as told, shuffling to the side of her cell, away from the door. With a loud thump, it flies open and Gustus storms into the room, Clarke right behind him, holding the torch.

“Lexa!” Clarke calls out as she pushes past Gustus and starts towards her. As soon as notices the sling and the blood and her face scrunches up with worry. Taking her arm, she helps Lexa get up, already trying to untie the sling. But Lexa turns towards her bodyguard, reproval in her voice.

“What is Clarke doing here, Gustus? Did Aden not tell you to keep her away?”

Gustus bows his head.

“We tried, Heda.”

“There was no way I would stay behind,” Clarke says and moves to inspect the bandage. “You’re hurt! What happened? ”

“I’m fine,” Lexa says quietly. Clarke blinks, watching Lexa lift her good hand to cup her cheek gently. Looking deep into Clarke’s eyes, Lexa smiles.

“You came for me.”

“Of course,” Clarke whispers her response, the unexpected touch making her self-conscious. She gulps, unsure of what to do. Lexa’s eyes are drawing her in. If she takes one step closer …

Their staring is interrupted by Gustus clearing his throat.

“Heda, Aden told us Titus was on his way down when he left you. We feared we would not reach you in time. I am happy to see you well.”

Apart from Lexa’s blood stained shirt and seeping wound on her arm and the fact that she is quite visibly in pain, Clarke thinks. But she knows better than to say anything. She lets out the breath she had been holding.

“We have to get you out,” Gustus continues, carefully reaching for Lexa’s elbow to avoid hurting her and raising his other arm towards the door.

“Do we need to …,” he clears his throat again, “carry you?”

Clarke snorts.

“I can walk, Gustus. My arm is injured, not my legs.” Lexa replies gracefully, pulling away from him. “Lead the way.”

“You’re bleeding,” Clarke says, pointing at Lexa’s injured arm. “I need to take a look at it.”

“Yes, but not here,” Lexa replies. “I bandaged it as good as I could. It’ll be okay until we get out of here and to a safe place.”

She can tell Clarke doesn’t agree but she still ties the sling back up and adjusts Lexa’s arm in it carefully so it can’t move too much.

“There, that’ll work. But you have to be careful, okay?”

Gustus gestures towards the tunnels impatiently and shoves Clarke towards the exit.

“Hurry!”

“Hey, watch it, asshole!” Clarke spins around and delivers a punch to Gustus’ chest armor.

“Ouch! Fuck!”

“Heda –“ Gustus says with a sigh. “She insisted on coming along.”

“I wouldn’t have expected anything less,” Lexa says, suppressing a smirk. Her head still hurts and she wonders if she suffered a concussion. There’s no time for messing around. She expects Indra back any time. Walking up to Clarke, she puts her good hand on her arm.

“We must go, Clarke. You can punch him all you like when we’re safe.”

Clarke huffs but obeys.

“I hope that’s a promise,” she says as she walks past Gustus, shooting him a death glare.

Outside the cell are five warriors, twelve more are waiting just inside the tunnels. Amazed, Clarke had followed them moving silently through the almost complete darkness of the tunnel on their way in. Grounders in stealth mode is still a miracle to her. How these huge people with their clattering armor and weapons manage to make no sound at all is beyond her. Another part of her training she has yet to complete since Lexa still complains that she is just too noisy walking through the woods. She makes a mental note of reminding her she needs more lessons … once they make it out and everyone is safe.

Getting into the tower had almost been too easy.

Hopefully getting out will be just as quick.


	7. Attack

* * *

Stumbling through the dark, they follow Gustus who is leading the group through the tunnels. If Lexa is hurting, she does her best not to show it. Clarke has caught the quiet moans though, every time they trip and she has to tighten her grip. She has seen Lexa hurt before and knows she always puts on a brave face. It seems that this fight has taken more out of her tough. It surprises her how slight the powerful woman feels.

“What happened? Why are you hurt? Aden said you were fine,” Clarke asks as they’re trying to keep up with Gustus and his men. As soon as they had stepped out into the tunnels, Gustus had ordered one of his warriors to help Lexa. But Clarke had pushed him aside and slid her hand around the injured commander’s waist, lifting Lexa’s good arm around her shoulder to steady her further.

“Titus is dead.” Lexa’s voice lacks the assertiveness it usually carries. Clarke trips over something she can’t see in the dark and let’s go of Lexa’s hand, feeling it slip off her shoulder. She catches it before it disappears and pulls it back up. She feels Lexa’s fingers close around hers again, squeezing slightly.

“How?”

“I killed him.”

A glance to her left shows Lexa’s face like a mask. She looks worn out. Her hair is loose the way she keeps it at night but also untidy now and her usually captivating eyes hooded, the shine missing from them. The orange light of the torch the warrior in front carries dances on her features, creating the illusion of movement but there is no emotion. She’s staring straight ahead, grinding her jaw, trying to avoid meeting Clarke’s gaze.

“I had to,” is all she offers.

Clarke has only just begun to understand the grounder culture but she knows how important Titus is. Was. Also as an advisor to Lexa who told her once that Titus has been Flamekeeper to many commanders and his advice was invaluable.

“I’m sorry,” she replies because she can’t think of anything else and fixes her eyes on the ground right in front of them.

The men in front stop suddenly. Gustus motions for everyone to be quiet and put out the torches. It’s almost pitch black now and Clarke finds herself holding on to Lexa more than the other way around. It takes a moment for her eyes to get used to the darkness. Eventually, she is able to make out a few details. There must be a source of light somewhere in front of them. The tunnel makes a left turn and the group moves quietly ahead until they can look around the bend.

Between the massive bodies of the warriors in front of her, Clarke can see a white light in the distance. That must be the tunnel exit. Just below it, closer, she sees a few torches. Shadows moving towards them. They’re not far away and will have reached them soon. In the darkness that surrounds them, Clarke looks to Lexa who leans on her heavily. Lexa looks up at Gustus.

“Get ready to fight,” she orders him, quietly but resolutely, letting her arm drop from Clarke’s shoulder and trying to stand up straight.

“Give me a sword,” she says to the warrior closest to her. He hands it to her hesitantly and she lifts it but then groans and almost drops it. Clarke gently pushes Lexa towards the tunnel wall so she can lean against it. Her face is scrunched up with pain.

“You’ve lost too much blood. You can’t fight.” She takes the sword from Lexa. “I will.”

“Clarke, you can’t fight for me.”

“Watch me,” Clarke says, trying to sound braver than she feels. The sword is heavy in her hand and she has only had a few fighting lessons. She wishes she had brought her gun but that’s probably still up in her room. She hadn’t taken it when she was rushed out. Grabbing the sword with both hands, she swings it a few times.

“Indra,” Gustus whispers over his shoulder. “Heda, it’s Indra.” His warriors have formed a wall around them, shielding Lexa and Clarke.

“Shit,” Clarke mutters under her breath. Indra must have entered from the outside and her attempt to intercept them has been successful. It had only been a matter of minutes and they would have made it.

“Indra!” Suddenly Lexa’s voice, sounding strained but strong, thunders through the tunnel.

“Stand down, Indra,” Lexa shouts. “Remember your oath. You have sworn fealty to your commander. I know this was not your idea. Do not make it worse now.”

Clarke frowns and looks at Lexa. She can’t see Indra for the wall of warriors in front of her. She waits for an attack. But no attack comes. Instead, there is silence. Seconds tick by and Clarke can feel her heart beating in her throat. She tightens her grip on the heavy sword that is threatening to slip from her sweaty palms.

Then the air shifts noticeably.

“Put down your weapons,” Indra orders although Clarke isn’t sure at whose warriors the order is directed.

There’s a murmur among Gustus men and she half expects them to drop their weapons. But they don’t. They wouldn’t without a fight. Eventually, the wall parts enough for Clarke to see that Indra has dropped to one knee, her head down, her sword on the ground next to her. Her men are kneeling behind her.

“Forgive me, commander.”

“What –“ Clarke starts to say and takes a step forward but Lexa puts her good hand on her arm to stop her.

“I will go, Clarke. You stay here.” Lexa pushes herself away from the wall and takes a couple of slow steps until she is next to Gustus.

“No, I’m coming with you.” Clarke moves behind her.

“I will go, Clarke. You stay here. Just this once, do as I say,” Lexa repeats, looking at Clarke crossly. Clarke steps back, lowering her head. Lexa would call herself determined and Clarke stubborn in the same breath. They’ve been here before.

Nodding to Gustus, Lexa takes a few unsteady steps through the front lines of warriors, approaching Indra. The men move aside to let them through. With only Gustus by her side, Lexa continues until she has almost reached Indra.

Putting a hand on her chest, Clarke tries to calm her heart. If this is a feint, they will stand no chance against Indra and her warriors. She pushes through the warriors in the first row, taking a few steps down the tunnel. She stops when she hears Lexa’s voice again.

“Indra,” Lexa says sternly, her voice echoing through the tunnel as she looks down at the kneeling general. Gustus moves forward, grabbing Indra and pulling her to her feet. The general looks defeated. Her betrayal of the commander she had sworn fealty to means certain death and Gustus looks ready to carry out the sentence right there.

“Forgive me, commander,” Clarke hears Indra repeat. There’s no response from Lexa, she stays silent. Not a twitch in her body. Clarke realizes she’s been holding her breath and exhales, only to draw the breath back in and hold it again.

Lexa stares at Indra, her head up, silent, unmoving. Clarke knows that stare. The stare is one of Lexa’s most intimidating features. Eventually, everyone crumbles under it. Indra keeps her head down. Clarke can taste the tension on her tongue and swallows. She waits.

Titus betrayed her. Lexa killed him. Indra betrayed her too.

Then: “Take her away,” Lexa orders Gustus. “I will deal with her later.”

As she watches Gustus drag Indra towards the tunnel exit, Lexa leans down carefully to pick up Indra’s sword. She scans the group of warriors on their knees in front of her.

“Get up.”

She turns around, looking straight at Clarke, not even surprised to see her standing half way between her and Gustus’ men.

Their eyes meet. There's a nod so small, Clarke almost misses it.

“Now we restore order.”


	8. Epilogue

* * *

“So, you were happy to see me today, huh?“

Late that same day they’re in Lexa’s room. All evidence of the commotion from the night before has been removed. After tending to Lexa’s wounds, Clarke had wanted her to rest. But Lexa insisted on staying up. They have settled on a bench on Lexa’s balcony to enjoy the clear, warm night.

Lexa is chewing on a piece of meat and only glances at Clarke before looking away again, almost shy. Clarke smiles quietly, leaning back. The worries she had felt throughout the day seem so far away. She wonders if it’s okay to stop worrying for a moment.

“So many stars up there. Look!” She points towards the sky and Lexa looks up.

“I was once up there,” Clarke muses.

Lexa turns to face Clarke. “And you still shine as bright.”

Silence between them has never been awkward. When Lexa puts her hand on Clarke’s, it doesn’t feel wrong.

“Everything is possible now.” Lexa continues softly.

Clarke looks at the dark sky again. She has struggled since hitting the ground. She has given up a few times and gotten back up each time. Thinking of all the good people that have been lost makes her heart heavy. Still, Lexa has been there all the time. While everything had changed around her, Lexa had been her constant, gently guiding her when she didn’t know what to do. Clarke wonders if she has given Lexa as much as she has received from her.

“What will happen to Indra?”

Slowly, Lexa lowers her head. Betrayal is not something she knows how to forgive easily.

“People have died for less,”she says gravely.

“Blood must not have blood, remember?” Clarke reminds her. But she knows Lexa hasn’t forgotten. After all, that was what almost killed her.

“Yes.” Lexa works her jaw but then her features soften again. “I will speak with her soon. Until then, she will spend her time in the cell she picked for me to do some thinking.”

“Titus got to her. She would have never betrayed you, Lexa. Indra was always loyal to you. I think her regret is real. She can be a strong ally for the changes ahead. Once she sees that answering violence with violence is not the right way,” she trails off, thinking.

She has made mistakes too. She has killed too many people. It has to stop.

“You may be right about that, Sky girl,” Lexa says, a small smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “But Indra threw a knife at me.”

“And you killed Titus.”

“Yes,” Lexa whispers with a shaky voice. “It has to stop. I’m tired of it.”

Silence settles between them again and Clarke goes back to watching the sky. After a while, Lexa wraps her hand around Clarke’s and gives it a squeeze.

“Were you worried for me?” Lexa asks softly and when Clarke nods, she adds: “I told you not to. You were supposed to stay away. Stay safe.”

“You know there was no way I would stay away, don’t you? Not with you in danger.” Clarke blushes, hoping that Lexa won’t see it. She barely manages to withstand the sudden urge to just pull her close. The commander is gone. This is just a girl sitting next to her. One that makes her heart jump.

“Because you always end up in the most horrible situations and I have to come rescue you,” Clarke adds quickly, trying to hide the awkwardness she feels.

Lexa chuckles and looks down, watching her thumb brush across the back of Clarke’s hand. She swallows a few times.

“Would you stay here tonight?” Lexa asks tentatively. “Keep me company?”

Clarke only nods at first, then the meaning of Lexa’s words register fully with her. Did she just ask her to …? She looks down at Lexa’s hand around hers, resting there softly. She suddenly feels the heat it emits, seeping through her skin. She feels it everywhere. Clarke looks up to meet Lexa’s green eyes, the scarce light reflecting in them.

Lexa’s smile is the last push Clarke needs. She almost expects Lexa to move back but when their lips touch, Lexa gasps, waiting for Clarke to pull back before following her and capturing her lips once more. It’s so different to the roughness and the violence of the past days and weeks. They’re slow to part and when they do, Lexa’s eyes stay closed, allowing Clarke to look at her for a moment. She’s so beautiful like this.

“As you wish, commander,” she says, watching Lexa’s smile grow wider.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We will slip out quietly at this point and leave them to rest ... and whatever else they may come up with tonight ... before they move on to create a world with less pain and less wrong and much more love. 
> 
> Let's hope they do it quickly. The world needs them.
> 
> Come say hi: sencire.tumblr.com 🐱


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